The UK Non-Biological Mother

  We ventured into London this weekend. I was taking part in RideLondonEssex 2022. The wife came along for the ride. Did you know TfL give out badges so people are aware you’re pregnant? No, me either. The wife found it out. And a good job she did, as when she went exploring she went on the tube a few times. I think you just inform TfL. And they send you this badge for free. Also, an update about the ‘flutters’, they’ve turned into tickles that can’t be scratched 🤣 it’s funny watching the wife wriggling around.

  So yesterday, 26th May 2022, we hit 15 weeks 🙌🏼 For the past weekish, the wife has been describing a feeling of what feels like ‘someone touching your skin with the tip of a pen’ Turns out it’s the baby moving. How exciting. Although now it’s more like flutters 🥰 It’s starting to feel real, by which I mean, she can feel it instead of her instead of just seeing her belly get bigger.  The wife has stopped being AS sick, she’s still a little bit sick, but not a crazy amount like before! Not long until we can also find out the gender at our private scan. We really can’t wait! Still the question remains -  Boy or Girl?

  Not much has happened really, Liverpool won the FA Cup #YNWA. One big thing really, a craving. Although the wife says it’s not a craving she just fancies it.  Glacier cherries. Yes love, that’s a craving. We’re starting to show a bit more now. Weeks seem to be flying by. I’m trying to get myself in shape so I’m not an absolute mess for when the baby needs me.  Also, found it funny when we had our scan that this coincidently came up on my news feed on Facebook 🤣 We can’t believe how much things have changed since only a week ago.  Still asking - boy or girl?

  We woke up this morning (Friday 13th May) super excited. But a little worried. It was our first scan since we had the internal one at 6 weeks and 6 days. And since we are 13 weeks, a tummy picture was due.  Isn’t it funny when you take tummy pictures you’re like, nah I don’t see anything. But when you compare it to the week 4 picture, you definitely see it. I think we can see it more because where the wife is losing weight through the hyperemesis, it’s a little more noticeable. So the day started like any other. Standard telephone dr appointment for me, yay covid. Then off we went to the hospital. Because we’ve opted to give birth at Basingstoke hospital, that meant we have scans and tests at Andover. I know right, go figure 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’d like to say things went smoothly, but typically in Friday the 13th fashion, it wasn’t quite the case. Nothing bad though. We turned up for our appointment at 9:50am. We filled out the paper work etc, went in for our scan. Now if I didn’t hav...

  Since week 10 nothing exciting has really happened. Thankfully no more Hospital visits (fingers crossed). We've checked out our travel system that the father in law brought us (superstitions means its kept at my mums house).  I've had the odd few joke with the whole ' who's the father ' thing. I mean, I should go to their wives and ask who's the father of their kids. Might kick up too many secrets that no one wants to hear that way. The wife is able to cope with how to deal with her hyperemesis gravidarum. She's not taking as much if not no medication at the minute. Only when things get super bad.  But recently we have finally turned 12 weeks! exciting. More updates to come. I look forward to giving people advice when I get stuck in situations and ways to hopefully combat them.

  Did you know you can pay for a private scan as early as 6 weeks? We used the company 'Window to the womb'  We went to the one in Reading, the area is not all that great but inside is lovely.  Our scan was booked for 6 weeks, 6 days. 1st April 2022. Being it is so early, the scan is done internally. The wife once again introducing me as her wife - this is my experience too. We found out the estimated due date - 18th November 2022. It may seem like a weird blob right now, but, we saw the heart beating, the super fast flashy motion on the screen brought tears to my eyes and the wife actually cried. Those that know her know she's not one for emotions... but you can't beat pregnancy hormones. this was the point we told other family members.  Since the medication the wife was given was not working, we got sent to Reading again. High ketones. But she was so tired. We brought an overnight bag too, because there was a threat of an over night stay to keep an eye on her....

  After the dramatics at the end of my last post, you'd think things would improve right? You'll see. Towards the end of march, we finally got to the end of the line with clear blue tests, we got the 3+ the wife was waiting to get... Nothing much exciting happened, here's the 6 week photo. As soon as the 6th week hit, that was it, morning sickness galore. We started seeing something was wrong with the wife when everything she drank or ate was coming straight back up again. So after a trip to the drs we got sent up to the hospital as she had far too many ketones in her urine.. not cool. Here is a picture of us taking hospital protocol seriously in the lift. When the wife first arrived, literally breathing set her off to be sick.  Let me just tell you, some maternity units haven't caught up with the whole 'equality and diversity', Royal Berks are no exception. We had a lovely midwife to start with. Then for the rest of the stay we had a grumpy mumbly midwife ...

  Because we had been trying for so long, we had thought of many ways to tell people we were pregnant.  We know it was super early, but we were super excited. And we were only letting certain people know. My parents, the wifes dad, my brother, the wifes brother and sister in law, the wifes sister, and also one of my cousins who I'm close with and 2 of my aunts and uncles. So you know, just a little circle. Bar my aunts, uncles and Cousin, everyone else got cards and baby grows announcing we were pregnant. For my cousin and her husband, they had covid at the time so we offered to take them round some Costa coffees. The first heartbreaking issue we encounter was when we gave my aunts scratch cards - they know we're generally jokers so they didn't trust us. But they scratched them off anyway, they're those scratch cards you get off amazon that basically say we're pregnant once all scratched off. So yeah, they were both shocked and excited. The one ...

 First thing on the agenda - Tell the dogs. Then take the typical '4 week' belly photos. The wife wanted to max out clear blue tests, so on 14th March this was 2-3 weeks.

  Because you can never believe you’re eyes. We were doings tests every. single. day.  Following on from our last post, the wife had gone to the drs on the 9th March - he had said congratulations (they don’t do tests there and then) and then mentioned come back once it comes up on a digital test. So on the 10th March 2022, we finally got it! (Didn’t have to wait long 🙌🏼)  Maybe it’s just the receptionist at our drs but she was quite rude, we phoned up and said we got a positive on a digital. She was basically like ‘we’ll why are you ringing here!?’ I get wound up quite quickly so good job the wife was dealing with it. So for those of you who are pregnant for the very first time don’t ring your dr, prob best to ring the maternity ward straight away to register. So that ruined that moment for us.  We were both still collecting positive tests at this point.  I however am no longer contagious (work stated to be off for 10 days unless you test negative 2 days on th...

  Picture this - you’ve had the most wonderful weekend away in Poland visiting Auchzwitz, the salt mines, Zakopane (while there was snow 😍), you’re on the plane to go home, first plane gets cancelled just as we are about to take off, we wait an hour for the 2nd plane - the wife sits there leaning on her flight table complaining about her sore boobs, slightly loud. And I’m like ahhh you’re due on.  I’ve woken up to get ready for work. I’ve tested positive on the 8th March 2022. Then a day later wife’s in the shower and I’ve seen she’s done a test on the side, and can see there’s 2 lines. MY EYES NEARLY POPPED OUT OF MY HEAD. The wife being basically blind without her glasses, pops her head around the shower curtain and says ‘WHAT!?’  ITS POSITIVE. She’s decided to do a clear blue at this point aswell to make sure! We’re like 6dpo or what ever at this point. Ridiculously early, but considering how long we’re been trying - THAT IS DEFINITELY A LINE!

Yo! Here is a place where I’m sharing what we’re going through as a lesbian couple while my wife is pregnant with our first child. Today, 08th May 2022, is the day, after speaking to my sister-in-law, I thought I’d share with everyone how its been, and maybe what to expect yourselves. Although each authority and hospital maybe different. These experiences are my own.  The reason for this is because we haven’t found anything that we could get an idea what to expect as new parents other than ‘father’ books. These books only go a certain way of what to expect,  I don’t have a p*nis for a start. And everyone’s experiences are different. So, here’s mine.